• presents • Masturbation with the help of someone else did..

• presents •

Masturbation with the help of someone else didn’t occur to me until I found someone I trusted with my naked soul as much as I trusted them with my naked body. For me masturbation always felt so taboo. I grew up in a “he who pleases his own body will burn for eternity” type of household which never made any sense to me, because it was and it remains to be MY body. Now as all adult I love to masturbate and could do so probably every day. When you’re in a differently libido’d pairing, this can become a tool, and for others this can become a topic of insecurity, competition and even an emotional escape button and way to avoid intimacy between two people. I’ve heard it all before from exes who thought my vibrator was their sworn enemy in life. I’ve found others who were happy they didn’t have to touch me at all but they were also barely intimate outside of the bedroom either. because to them, just living together was enough and they used my willingness to self pleasure as a way to not have to be with me at all. Now, I can satisfy myself. I know what I like, I take myself out, buy myself treats and trinkets. I can touch myself thoughtfully and sensually. But after years of relationships where my need for emotional and sensual intimacy got extinguished by others, shamed by the people who I thought wanted all of me, it’s been a breath of fresh air to find a partner who wants to help provide me comfort, extra stimulation, aftercare, love, even when I’d prefer a toy. Even when my libido is higher. Even if it takes 10,20,60 minutes. They don’t feel insecure that I need more from them, all I need is their love, their understanding, their comfort. A lot of people put down the term pillow prince(ess) , or shame stone tops but each of us should feel safe and confident that the people we choose are compatible with our needs and desires. My partner doesn’t always want to receive. They aren’t always in the mood when I am, and if I were to wait for our libidos to line up, we’d experience mini bed comas multiple times a year. Instead, we’ve found something that helps us both feel wanted. Sexting all day, making out in the kitchen. Taking off her boots when she gets home, foot rubs and back rubs, the little ways we create physical & emotional safety for eachother. We never guilt each other for not being more in the mood or wishing the other person wasn’t so “needy.” A stability neither of us have had in the past. That trust has built so much that I know when ever I need her, she knows I only need as much as she can freely give me. Sometimes, all she can lend to me is her presence, and that is a gift in itself.