Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
One turned to the other and said, “Wow, it’s pretty hot in here.” The other one shouted, “Wow, a talking muffin!”
2024-12-03 10:00:46 +0000 UTC View Post
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All it was doing was collecting dust.
2024-12-03 08:00:58 +0000 UTC View Post
What is Forrest Gump’s email password?
1forrest1.
2024-12-03 06:01:05 +0000 UTC View Post
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
2024-12-03 02:01:03 +0000 UTC View Post
What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke?
…
2024-12-03 00:01:19 +0000 UTC View Post
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There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t.
2024-12-02 22:14:00 +0000 UTC View Post
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2024-12-02 11:19:23 +0000 UTC View Post
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A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!”
The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
2024-12-02 04:00:59 +0000 UTC View Post🎄BRAND NEW! Christmas Wheel is up🎄
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What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.
2024-12-02 02:00:53 +0000 UTC View Post
Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed some space.
2024-12-02 00:01:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
For drizzle.
2024-12-01 22:01:08 +0000 UTC View Post
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
2024-12-01 20:01:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Two guys walk into a bar.
The third guy ducks...
2024-12-01 18:01:08 +0000 UTC View Post
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
2024-12-01 16:01:11 +0000 UTC View Post
I like elephants.
Everything else is irrelephant.
2024-12-01 14:01:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
2024-12-01 12:01:05 +0000 UTC View Post
What’s the difference between a rabbit and a plum?
They’re both purple except for the rabbit.
2024-12-01 10:00:51 +0000 UTC View Post
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.
2024-12-01 08:01:07 +0000 UTC View Post
Did you hear about the lamb that couldn't see? Someone pulled the wool over its eyes.
2024-12-01 06:01:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Did you hear about the dog that had a bad day at work? It was ruff.
2024-12-01 05:01:15 +0000 UTC View Post
I once asked an alpaca for a favor. It was no probllama.
2024-12-01 04:01:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c–
MOO!
2024-12-01 03:01:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Where can you find a whale that plays the flute? In an orca-stra.
2024-12-01 02:01:02 +0000 UTC View Post
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey." The horse says, "You read my mind."
2024-12-01 01:01:02 +0000 UTC View Post
I'm happy Ford didn't invent the airplane. It wouldn't have been Wright.
2024-12-01 00:01:10 +0000 UTC View Post